Finally, nagpadoctor na si papa. Kinailangan lang talaga na umiyak si ate sa kanya. He doesn’t want ate to worry about him, he doesn’r want any of his kids worry about him. That’s the first thing for him more than anything else but we have been worried for a little more than a month now.

He visited the doctor and had some lab tests taken. There are no signs of amoebiasis but had 2 ++ of !@#$%. Tomorrow, he’ll undergo colonoscopy procedure. I’m really hoping that it’s clear, no CC.

Last week after visiting the “garden”, we went straight to the hospital. I was there when papa read the results from the lab department. He blurted out, “baka sa colon”. I wanted to cry but I wanted to be strong. I just diverted the topic and pretended not hearing about it. The last few days has been a big stress and full of drama (just for me). Alam mo yung feeling na extremely sad ka and at bigla na lang tutulo luha mo and all you can do is hope and pray for the best…. na walang big C? I would be silent at times, teary eyed.

I had relatives who died because of the big C. My lola died of colon cancer. I saw her suffer silently. She is a one tough woman. She was the strength of the family and she was the reason why the family was tightly knit. She suffered and I don’t want that to happen to my parents… not papa, not mama.

I’m really hoping na wala lang yung LBM ni papa, na totoong LBM lang talaga sya.

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